Trauma, Karma, and Mental Decisions

Three Concepts, Same Thing

Two people go to war. They see the same things, smell the same blood and hear the same screams.

One of them comes home and never speaks of it again, while the other one can’t stop reliving it.

Why?

We’ve been taught to see trauma as something that happens to us. But what if trauma isn’t about what happens, but about the (conscious or unconscious) mental decisions we make during what happens?

The Decision to Disconnect

In a moment of pain or fear, the mind moves fast. It is made to compare, label, and measure what we witness, and when it can’t do that it makes a decision about it, separating us from what is happening so that we don’t have to see or feel it. 

PTSD nightmares aren’t always exact replays of the event. Sometimes they replay the emotions you felt during the event, such as fear, helplessness, and sadness.
– Alice Cariv

More than anything, we are terrified of the fact that our mind doesn’t inherently know and understand the things we live through. We try to shove ourselves and our children into the framework that our minds can and should know what to do. However, the mind can downright refuse to accept anything that it doesn’t want to experience, like fear, helplessness, and sadness, as if they are less valuable than any other internal experience.

Our greatest misunderstanding and tragedy is that we are taught that we are in control of mind, body, and Life. We blame fear and sadness on ourselves instead of simply allowing it, because we have been conditioned to think that we are in control of how we think and feel. We put pressure on ourselves to think and feel differently, forcing all of us into serious internal gymnastics as we disconnect further and further from the full experience of Life.

And it becomes more complicated as we bring others into the equation, because once a human has decided that ‘fear’ isn’t valuable, they will not let themselves or anyone else experience it without blaming it on them. They can effectively emotionally cripple themselves and then pass it on like a virus, conditioning everyone they know into the same reality.  

“It ain’t what you don’t know that get’s you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
– Mark Twain

Controlling vs. Observing

The truth is that we are the observer. We are not made to decide anything because we are here to see and allow Life in its fullness. And that includes the parts of Life that we do not like or understand. 

And we are very good at hiding the truth from ourselves, we work together to make the decisions that disconnect us from Life, Self, and each other. We work together to traumatize ourselves.

Instead of staying present in the intensity of seeing and feeling reality, we mentally label the moment.
“This is too much.”
“I’ll never be safe again.”
“I deserved this.”
“They are evil. I am broken.”

These thoughts are not harmless, because they are decisions that become energetically and emotionally embedded in us. They begin to shape how we see ourselves, how we treat others, and how we experience the world.

Trauma is Unfinished Presence

The haunting part of trauma isn’t the memory, but the avoidance of the lived experience itself. We never truly let the moment complete because we were never fully in it to begin with. We were dissociated, controlling the narrative, and avoiding reality. 

So the moment circles back, wondering why it can’t be witnessed. It comes in flashbacks, triggers, dreams in order to give us a second… third… fourth chance to witness without deciding. It’s a doorway to ‘unmaking’ the decision that has disconnected us from reality, offering presence in the place of protection.

And this is where trauma and karma become the same thing.

Karma: The Echo of Unfinished Presence

Karma is about completion.

When we die, we take our mental decisions with us. If they survive the bardo process, they will return with us in our next incarnation, offering the opportunity to see them and let them go again. And it’s not easy. We are born with decisions to let go of, yet more decisions are continuously piled on by our families, cultures, and society.

“In the absence of strong political movements for human rights, the active process of bearing witness inevitably gives way to … repression, dissociation, and denial…”
– Judith Lewis Herman (Trauma and Recovery)

Humans should inherently have the right to experience the full spectrum of Life, however, we are conditioned to chase ‘what we think it should look like.’ In doing this, we turn our gaze to people who appear to have what we want, discard our uniqueness, and begin playing out a program. Herman is attempting to point out that successfully disconnected people can easily lead others to disconnection, which paradoxically eliminates the concept of ‘human rights’ from the beginning.

We all begin to repress, dissociate, and deny our way to what appears to be success, all while holding each other to that standard. We struggle to let go of mental decisions, to bring Karma to completion, because we are too busy frantically making new ones, hoping they will lead us to the life we want.

The Way Out Is In

Deconditioning isn’t about erasing what happened. It’s about becoming our full Self – the observer – free of decisions made out of language. The one who has the presence to witness Life without needing to decide anything about it. The one who is available to watch the decisions being made for us.

As an ego manifestor I can promise you that my heart knows exactly what to do. The willpower is there or not, and I see that the decision is already made. What a relief! When I am available to witness my authority, I never have to make a mental decision about anything. 

This allows me to experience and share my life instead of attempting to control it, myself, and others.

No one knows what decisions live inside you, including you! But your own body is capable of leading the way. You can attend a workshop, hire a therapist, visit an ashram, hold hands, meditate, etc., but inner authority offers a real path to clear the karma, release the trauma, and reclaim yourself from your unique prison of mental decisions. And it’s essential for everyone and everything, because when Life can be witnessed in its fullness, the past can rest. 

And when the past is at rest in me, I can be here now, with Life, Self, You.